Growing Friendships: How Not To Talk About Your Children All the Time
Call a friend and go grab a cup of Jo. But wait…here’s the prerequisite: Can we not talk about our children the entire time?
Seriously. About two decades ago, before I had children, when I made friends with people who had children - children were all they talked about. Actually, let me reframe that - these were not friends, they were acquaintances because they literally only talked about their children. It could be schooling, sports, clothes, attitudes, potty status, friendship woes, playground exploration - you name it.
And now I have children and, yes…I love, love, love to talk about them. Us moms love doing this together. We are learning from each other and needing encouragement, problem-solving, and more. And there’s a time and place for that.
But, it is time to move on from our children in conversations. I know they are our most precious beings in our lives, but we are more than our children. (Check out our podcast episode about our identity as homeschool moms as well as our blog article.) My advice: When you are preparing to leave the house for a play date, mom’s night out, or co-op party, make a mental list of 2-3 different questions you can ask the other parents that are unrelated to their children.
So, here’s a list of topics to be ready to discuss, so you are not making others swim in your baby food and diaper wipes.
Topics
Top 5 favorite movies (TV shows, songs, podcasts, museums, restaurants, recipes, sports teams, etc.)
Favorite countries/cities they have traveled to or hope to travel to and why
Books read this year and current books they are reading
Their own childhood, favorite childhood memory, hardest challenge faced
States they have lived in and what they liked about them
Top 5 favorite things they own
Their favorite way to exercise
Their goals for this year
Accomplishments they are proud of (besides children)
How she met her spouse and their love story
This list could go on forever - but you get the drift. (For more tips and ideas, check out our podcast, Episode 70, Being Interesting.) Grab a Starbucks gift card, pick a couple of these topics, and go dive deeper with your mom friends. Start building a deeper connection - beyond your children. Do it for you. Because one day, when our children are all grown up and moved away - you might not have the friendships you hoped for…and only your cup of Jo.
(For more about mom friends, check out podcast episode 27, with ideas for Galentine’s Day, Mom’s Night Out, and more.)
