Never Say Never: Things You Said You’d Never Do As A Parent

Remember when we were the best parents? You know, before we were actual parents? There were so many things I said I would never do or let my children do. Like, I would never let my children watch two movies in a row, or be on screens more than two hours per week, or make a separate breakfast for each child (or separate dinner). I would never raise my voice toward my children, or put my selfish needs in front of my child’s, or discipline my child because someone else would want me to, or…the list goes on and on. You all have a list like this - a list of broken nevers. Everyone does, because no one is the perfect parent. (Check out podcast episode 69 to dive in deeper!)

With regards to homeschooling - in my first child’s early years I declared that “My children will never be assigned to a grade level.” I meant it.

I knew that grade levels didn’t actually matter, especially in a homeschool setting. It was progress, mastery, and competency that mattered. Who cares how my child compared with other children his age? Who cares what “grade” he was supposed to be in? Education was about pursuing interests, diving into curiosities, and just living life. In my opinion, the American school system had turned learning into an assembly line of conforming minds, requiring that everyone learn the same thing, on the same schedule, and in the same way in each grade level…and we wanted no part of it whatsoever.

I actually instructed my children in their early years to not answer the “What grade are you in?” question at all. I instructed them that what people want to know is how old you are. With others I shared adamantly that grade levels, test scores, percentiles, and grading did not matter.

Year after year I declared that I would never assign my child to a grade level.

Then, one day, I met another homeschooling family when my son was just five-years-old, and I said, “My son is in kindergarten. What grade is yours?”